World Cup Soccer! Of course all those “non-Americans” (and you know who you are…) call it Football. Why? Because it is freaking football! What the hell else would you call it? Kickball? Actually kickball’s kind of funny.
And they need more humor in European Football. I viewed a great documentary that was done by Vanguard Documentaries on the “Current” channel. It showed a level of violence and naked racial hatred that goes way beyond the mere (mere?) hooliganism of the ‘90’s. Nazi groups that buy out entire sections of the football stadium were filmed displaying huge signs that contained giant swastikas, Maltese crosses, and any other Nazi, Hitler loving, Jew hating symbolism they can get their slimy hands on.
The skin-heads were constantly shown repeatedly giving the straight-armed “Hitler salute”. They were grunting like monkeys every time an athlete of color was handling the ball, jumping up and down shit-faced drunk, screaming until they were hoarse. Popular black players were hung in effigy and were actually pelted with bananas while they were on the field! Can you just picture a drunken skin-head staggering into the stadium carrying an armload of bananas?
Where does the impetus and manic energy for this kind of intensity and insanity come from? This kind of hate takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Not that they should be praised for actually having incredibly strong convictions no matter how vile, they should be dissected and studied, oh fuck the study, just dissect the cocksuckers!
Now I have figured out, after watching the entire broadcast of the World Cup Finals, why all this shit is going on. It’s because SOCCER IS THE MOST BORING FUCKING GAME ON EARTH!!
Nazis, skinheads, violence – NOW THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!!! I do know the game. I went to a high school where the main sport was not Football but Soccer. That didn’t mean the school and town weren’t full of stuck-up clique driven assholes – they were chuck fucking full of them. Our High School Soccer teams were winners of many State Championships, we even played the game in summertime, in gym class, and just while fucking around. Like guys threw a football around, we kicked a soccer ball.
And I still think it’s duller than dogshit.
Of course I’m not really into sports at all. The only team I guess you could say I was a fan of, or gave a shit about is the New York Yankees. And that’s probably just because Derek Jeter’s parents live right down the street from us. Seriously I would only watch the fucking Mets if they were in the World Series, and their stadium is only about three miles away from Yankee stadium! Couldn’t give a fuck. Oh, I like the Giants, too…
My hypothesis on Soccer’s worldwide popularity is its ease of play. Not much equipment is needed to get a rousing match started. No bats, special balls, helmets, padding or specific playing surface (think grass courts at Wimbledon). All you need is some kind of land clearing and something round that you can kick.
I have literally seen soccer played on a field of rotted crops with a severed human head as the ball! Now think of the grass courts at Wimbledon again real quick! See what I mean? Now that’s diversity!
Kind of makes you wonder what you’d have to do in order to get a red card while playing football with a severed human head. Or even a yellow card for that matter.
Selah.
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