Well the Iraq war is now officially longer than The Viet Nam war. Somebody PLEASE tell just how in the fuck we let that happen? We are in the hold of Baby Boomers, a term I always really fucking hated for some reason. I guess I just dislike people judging me and branding me with their fucking labels. Call me crazy. Anyways, I am considered a Baby Boomer. By just a few years, mind you, but a Boomer nonetheless.
We are supposed to be legalizing dope, not having a fucking a “lower-lip high” pile of goat shit we call “The War in Iraq”. And Afghanistan, too, we can’t forget that garden of fucking Eden. So, friends, for the rest of this column I will usually just refer to this double death match as “The War”. If not, I just might not make to the end of this fucking column. I’ve been dreading to write this one for a while.
Starting with the election of George W. Bush as President of the United States I had a sense of impending doom. I always thought that the country was going to go Tango Uniform (T.U.*) because of the rising popularity of Evangelical Christian groups. Believe me; calling them “groups” is being really fucking P.C. for me.
To me they are religious fanatics, and religious fanatics by ANY name are trouble. The antithesis of evil wrapped in religion! Sounds more like the second coming of evil rather than salvation to me, but they sure got Georgie-boy elected!
Less than a year after the election our country was attacked on 9/11. Everything changed. The country was wounded and looking for revenge, hell we were out for blood and you are just fucking up your own reality if you say any different. Even if you were not one of the ones “out for blood” I think you could still see the long black cloud coming down.
Rudy Giuliani was quoted as saying “Thank God George Bush is President” on 9/11/01, within hours of the first attack. This was pretty fucking clear, to me, that he meant “We got a Republican in the White House that will blow the living shit out of these fuckers – we will utilize America’s incredible arsenal and unleash a hell-fire shit-storm like these fucking rag-headed murderous shits have EVER seen!” No more of this pussy Democrat shit.
I want to meet the person that really believes Rudy was remarking on the incredible military prowess of George fucking Bush. Actually that’s not true; I’d never really want to meet Sara Palin.
George W. Bush ushered in the most despicable era of greed known to U.S. history. He did it by surpassing an international organization dedicated to world peace, of which we are a major part of. By initiating a “First Strike” agenda he was telling the world, which includes every red fucking blooded American asshole on earth, to go fuck themselves. He was going to do whatever the fuck he wanted to.
Bush, Cheney and that granny-panty wearing old woman named Rumsfeld propped up a black General to feed the U.S. the biggest pile of shit anybody has ever eaten!
No fucking way am I going to let Colin fucking Powell off the hook for his part in this blistering ass-fuck. He was the face of the administration that held up a fake little glass vile of Anthrax to scare the living shit out of every last fucking one of us. Cocksucker!!! Fuck him and his asshole son**, too. Using a weapon that had scarred the American psyche deeply, he talked Congress into authorizing the “War”. This useless, stupid, fucking never-ending Pap smear we hardly ever even hear about.
I have heard more about Lindsay Lohan going to jail lately than I have heard about the War. This is during the MOST DEADLY MONTH EVER in Afghanistan! If this doesn’t make you sick it fucking damn well should! How did we, why have we, turned our back on this horrible war? How can the media ignore it as they have?
HOW DO WE EVER EXPECT TO END THIS FUCKING THING WHEN NOBODY IS PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO IT!
It makes my blood boil when I see some stupid spoiled little twat all over the fucking headlines and no word whatsoever about real important issues. Issues like young Americans needlessly dying. Still dying in record breaking numbers. Still dying for George Bush. Missing a limb so Dick Cheney’s cronies can be billionaires instead of just millionaires. I can’t even think of Donald Rumsfeld without writing something that would probably get me arrested. Ah, Shit! I just puked all over my coffee table! Bastards!!!
While I’m having a fucking heart attack I might as well mention the scorn I have for today’s college students. During the Viet Nam war things were a lot different on the old college campus. There were anti war protests that were so fucking intense as to culminate in four deaths (there were others, also, don’t ever forget that) on the Ohio State campus by the hands of the U.S. Army National Guard.
So where are the protests? If I see one more college student douche bag protesting the WTO and not a war that his own fucking country started, if I see one more white kid with dread-locks screaming about some multi-national corporation, I would give my left testicle to shove his white-bread dreads up his ass and send him to the front line in Afghanistan. Let’s see what he starts crying about now.
Of course that can’t happen anymore because we have done away with the draft. By the most back-stabbing cowardly methods this dickhead has ever heard of, the administration has imposed a hidden “back-door” draft. I think Sen. Larry Craig gave it that name. It’s also called stop-loss. I call it getting royally fucked by the very country you are risking your life for.
There are soldiers that have pulled more tours of duty, racked up more hours of combat time, than any other conflict in American history (smell that?). Every time you’re about to make it out of the ring alive they kick you back in. And there ain’t a fucking thing you can do about it.
Like Viet Nam the war in Iraq is not a traditional war in the sense that is not played like a football game. Two teams, in distinct uniforms, engaged in battle until one is the victor. It’s just a festering fucking quagmire where young Americans are dying horrible violent deaths.
We now have a whole generation of young people wandering around aimlessly trying to make sense of the violence, death and wonton annihilation of other human beings they witnessed. As they roam quite peaceful streets. Feeling the calm and quite on their faces but not in their heads.
Let’s institute a draft that will only induct college educated students. We’ll start with the real peckerheads at Harvard and Yale. Why? Well we can’t seem to pull our heads out of our collective asses now, so let’s try some new management. Management with real education. Real expensive education. Let’s start with the Bush twins.
I guarantee you that type of brain power will end a war real soon.
Real fucking soon.
*”Tango” and “Uniform” are the words used to spell phonetically by the U.S military.
The term “T.U.” or “Tango Uniform” means “Tits Up”. This refers to someone lying flat on their backs, such as a dead soldier might.
**Colin Powell’s son is the former head of the F.C.C. and was a real fucking asshole about it. Straight up.
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