Face Book is truly amazing. I just posted an online profile about three/four weeks ago and have seen many people out there that I honestly thought I would never see again. I’ve seen a few people that were fucking nightmares in my life. I even saw one person that was once just a hair away from becoming my step-child.
Wow.
Of course there were a few people I was genuinely happy to see. Friended them, messaged, email’d, how-the-fuck-are-ya’d the works. And it was good.
Requesting friends is always a gamble isn’t it? You just never know whether you’ll be welcomed or ignored. And of course you always know right away if you’re accepted, but if you hear nothing well….
Maybe the person just hasn’t gotten around to playing Face lately. I just received a real nice message from an old friend that I “Friend Requested” the very first day I became an official Facebookian. Took him three weeks, but I was really, genuinely happy that he connected with me. Just took some time is all.
Sometimes you look at “Friend Request Pending” for just a little too long and you think “You know, fuck them, anyways!” and just remove the request. That’s when you really, truly, couldn’t give a fuck whether or not you hear from this person.
One of the best things about FaceBook is connecting with people you don’t know. I never thought in a million years this would actually be fun, and trust me; “fun” and I don’t often meet. I thought about who would give a shit, really, about how my day was, did I go to the Dentist, or whatever. I thought that’s all this shit was about; maybe to promote a Band, CD release party, or a class reunion. Mundane everyday corkboard fodder.
Mind you Facebook is chock full of this mindless bullshit. But, if you crawl into the right holes there are some funny motherfuckers out there. They were pretty easy to find, too.
I guess Facebook is well controlled when it comes to keeping out the perverts, prostitutes, solicitations and just all around internet assholes.
Sure, I received a few requests from dubious females. However I’m not gullible, or desperate. I’m happily married and my wife is a fox. And that’s another reason I’m so grateful not to be inundated with “Friend Requests” from a bunch of whores. Wives tend to notice these things. And we (including the blissfully betrothed) all know even though these “Friend Requests” are not your fault, they’re still you’re fucking fault and you better get rid of them. Plus they’re probably from a bunch of hairy, smelly dudes from some far off shithole, anyways.
There was one person I reached out to that I haven’t seen in at least twenty-five years. This person is a musician that heads up a fairly popular band, they have graduated the bar circuit and play showcase clubs, open for major acts, and play theatre sized venues. In the eighties I was hired to work for said musician’s band. I worked with them when they were a hard-working bar band, very popular and well known, but very few gigs were any more than just bar gigs.
Roadie work is hard work. When you’re on the road, that’s working twenty-four hours a day for the guys in the truck. I worked with them for about two years, maybe a little less. In that time you get to be very close with your band mates.
I was happy to see these people on Facebook so I sent off “Friend Requests”. I had even talked with the two people I reached out to via email within the month previous to sending out the requests. Proper etiquette, I thought.
Well, one ignored me completely. One bad thing about Facebook is you can visit this person’s site, maybe there just hasn’t been any activity, maybe they haven’t seen your request yet. I then noticed this person was online only fourteen minutes ago.
It made me feel sad, I admit I was hurt. I also felt strange that I cared enough about this person to go and check. We did literally hundreds of gigs together, now I felt like a stalker.
The second person’s response I found very amusing, not in a good way, but amusing none the less. The message I received, of course, thanked me profusely for “reaching out” and then gave me some horseshit line about the site undergoing “reorganization” and relegated me to their “Fan Site”.
I thought not only was this cold but pretty fucking presumptuous that I was a “Fan”.
I had heard the latest disc from this band and let me tell you, calling me a fan would probably denote someone that would like to see the band live. Or listen to their latest disc more than once. A strike on both of those, not interested after hearing that disc.
Sour grapes? Maybe just a little, but if I was just a fan of the music I’d be more interested in the Band site anyways. That’s where the music is. Not to mention I sent a “Friend Request” not a “Fan” request.
You may think that I’m not being at all objective when it comes to liking their music after you feel that you’ve been snubbed. This is not true. I listened to the disc before I was kicked aside like a used Trojan.
For instance, years ago a great friend of mine, Big Mike, gave me two CDs’ by two very different bands. He thought both bands were great and wanted to turn me on to them. Well Mike’s got great taste in music (besides being a genius of the highest magnitude) so I looked forward to his choices.
The first disc was by “Radiohead”. I don’t remember the exact title of the record, but I do remember I did not care for it. Now I know Radiohead has millions of rabid fans that love their music and that’s fucking great if you ask me. I just didn’t really care for the music, wasn’t my bag, man. No malice involved here, just an honest opinion.
The second disc changed my life.
It was a collection of some of John Prine’s best songs. I realized with great joy that I had actually been a fan of John Prine’s for years and didn’t even know it. I had heard the song “Sam Stone” several times on the radio over many years and just fucking loved it. I, however, never knew who the artist was. Every time I had heard the song in the past on the radio I’d listen for the credits, but alas they don’t always make it a priority to give the artist their props.
I worked for a band that did the song “Angel From Montgomery” every night for years. I was fifteen years old at the time, so I was still learning (still am). For some reason we did that song right after a Mose Allison tune every night and I got the credits mixed up. I was under the impression that “Angel” was a Mose Allison tune for many years.
When I was a youngster I lived in southern Connecticut and one of the most popular radio stations was WPLR out of New Haven, CT. There was a DJ there ‘Stone Man” that used part of a John Prine song in his “sign off” at the end of every air shift. The song was “Illegal Smile” and the verse was:
“You may se me tonight with an illegal smile, It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while. Why don’t you please tell the Man I didn’t kill anyone, I was just trying to have me some fun.”
Both songs were on this disc! I was completely blown away. I had just heard the origin of two songs that I had loved for years and never knew where the hell they came from! Naturally because I was now armed with this information I loaded up on John Prine discs and love every last one of them. John Prine is currently my absolute favorite artist. This changes quite frequently but John has been placed and placed again at the top of my list for years now.
His songs may be described as a cross between Bob Dylan and Arlo Guthrie. Both poignant and whimsical at the same time. Some songs will bring a tear to your eye and some songs will make you laugh like hell, especially when John tells one of his “folksy” tales on stage. If you are a guitar player, his guitarist Jason Wilbur has a habit of damn near stealing the show. He’s that fucking good.
So you see, I didn’t know John Prine from Adam when I first played his CD. It was the music that made me a fan. Let me just drive that point home “It’s the MUSIC that makes a fan!” It’s spending days and weeks on the road gigging with someone that makes a friend. Big difference.
But we’re talking about Facebook here not my petty jealousies so let us move on.
I found a profile of a musician I admire greatly. I’ve been a guitarist for over thirty-five years so I’m kind of partial to guitar players. And what a player he is. He’s the person responsible for the scorching lead solos on “Reelin’ in the Years” this is simply his best-known work. His accomplishments are far too great to even begin listing here. A real live rock-n-roll star.
I figured “what do I have to lose?” I have time. I’m not proud - or tired, so I sent him a message. I was amazed and impressed when he sent me back a reply. And he was funny as hell. I’ll post a stupid question on his FB very now and then, usually some dumb question about a famous musician. Elliott (Randall) replied with an answer that was educational, (I hear he’s quite a teacher, also) funny, and it inspired me.
He let me know that there’re still some down to earth music biggies out there. He told his FB friends some facts about this great musician (Al Kooper) and included a link to a bio. I’m actually quite familiar with Al Kooper, which doesn’t pertain to this column at all, I just wanted everyone to know.
I also had a FB friend disappear from my FB friend list. This was someone I was thrilled to see, had known him most of my life and hadn’t talked to him in decades. Where the hell did he go? Have I been dumped? Was I just Facefucked??
I found myself doing some checking to see if this person had simply closed his account, and again I felt like a half-stalker. When I realized this I just bagged looking, what was the fucking point? If the guy suddenly doesn’t like me that’s his own prerogative.
He popped back up three days later, no Facefuck.
I guess I’m still a Facevirgin.
**I’d like to thank all my FB friends. You’re interest and support for my column has been incredible. I have received nothing but positive comments. This make me worry, the way I write there’s got to be someone out there that thinks I’m an asshole! Drop me a note – this does not pertain to members of my family….
Hi to DMI, PC, RAI, ER, and KH – you know who you are….
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